I’ve always thought that interracial children looked perfect, and that intermarried couples are beautiful, ideal. I just never imagined myself in one of them until Simeon.

It was a sunny December afternoon of 2008 at the dormitory, and just like any other day, you’d find me busy as ever. Editor-In-Chief of the University publication, president of the English Majors’ Club, involved in Youth Ministry, Student Association, friends, boyfriend, what else does a twenty year old girl need in her life?

One afternoon, a twenty four year old International Theology student was wandering at the dormitory with his friend for the annual Ladies’ Dormitory Open House. This university in southern Luzon with lush green trees looked conducive for people from different nations to come to study. The university, though, wouldn’t allow men to go into women’s dormitory and vice versa except that time of the year. Naturally the Open House was a spectacle.

As it was, I was busy preparing our dorm room. My roommate decided to play some religious tunes while other rooms played pop music. It wasn’t a big deal for me because I was about to graduate that year so I wouldn’t care less if our dorm room sounded too goodie-goody. We just needed snacks, and some sweeping. So when the food ran out, my other roommates decided to buy more at the kiosk. I was quite tired from editing the magazine the night before so I decided to take a nap. Around 12:30, two African boys knocked on the door, I was almost dozing off because of the heat of the noonday sun.

“Hi Lyn! Can we come in?” said Daniel, a fellow from the Student Association. Trying to be as accommodating as possible, I replied, “Oh, hi, come on in, I’m sorry we don’t have snacks anymore but you’re welcome.” I tried to tour them around the four-cornered bedroom, explaining each corner belongs to which roommate. Mine was pretty colorful: posters and quotations hung on the wall, and books on the shelf as you would expect from a typical collegian. “This is my friend Simon by the way,” Daniel muttered, spelling his name as S-I-M-E-O-N. “Hi Simeon,” I said. Unlike some people, he’d later confess, I could pronounce his name right. Simeon anxiously shook my hand and asked which one was my corner. “That one,” I replied, pointing with my lips. “Your Bible is too big,” Simeon remarked. “Yes, it is easier for me to use” I mindlessly responded.

Months later, I graduated. Happy with a BA degree and an entry job at my father’s publishing company in Manila, I had forgotten about Simeon while he continued his program. For all I knew, I would never see him again. But apparently he met my sister in campus and she gave him my number. It seems like I had an avid fan every time I’d join or host events in campus. But he didn’t know how to reach out to me until he added me on social media, and we had been chatting occasionally until I decided to go back to graduate school in 2010.

At that time, I had a bitter break up with a former boyfriend when Simeon visited me. “Can we walk towards the prayer garden?” Figuring out that he was going to court me, I was hesitant. But because he was quite a respectable guy—relatively tall, slim African guy with a very boyish look about his face and a serious Theologian stance, I decided to walk with him. Maybe he’s harmless. We sat on the cold stone bench whilst surrounded by an orchid garden. He said he was sincere in his intent to pursue me. “But I’m not ready for a relationship,” I told him. “I wanted to be single for now,” even though I’ve started dating people from my new university. I thought to myself, he is such a serious man, I might fall in love with him and be miserable again. But Simeon figured that he wanted me more than anyone else. There was a special connection between us. So, his African persistence made him to ask me out until one day, with nothing left for me to give as an alibi when he asked me to go to a restaurant with him, I said, “I can’t. I don’t have money to go to Tagaytay today. My allowance has not arrived yet.” That was the truth, but I don’t understand why I admitted that to him. “Oh, don’t you worry, I’ll fetch you instead of meeting me in the restaurant as you suggested.” So he did. He took me to a decent restaurant in Tagaytay and we talked for a while. He told me that it was his first time to bring someone on a date. He said he was busy as a prefect in high school and finding money after he left home that he’s never really had a real girlfriend. It seems impossible, but I decided to take his word for it. I used to think that I wouldn’t go out with a man who’s not Filipino, but Simeon seems different. He isn’t the kind of man who’d go out telling girls ‘I am very cool’. Where I grew up, all the boys in my town are either too proud of their cars or pretending to be really accomplished at whatever. Simeon was clear in what he wanted to happen in the future. He was not fussed up with buying cars. He wanted to accomplish degrees and build a house and help his brother get to school. He was a dreamer. Honestly, at that point, I was smitten by how intelligent yet down to earth he was. I’ve never met anyone like him. Could I really fall in love with this man? What will my parents say? Will my friends like the idea that I’d be dating, much less possibly marry an African man? I kept asking myself even before I agreed to go on a date with him.

As we parted ways, he thanked me for the time, as I did too. He then took my hand softly amidst the very crowded part of town and handed me a couple of yellow colored peso bills. “I don’t have much, but this is for you. It’s your baon.” My heart melted. He didn’t exactly brought flowers or chocolates, but he was paying attention. He knew what I needed that week. After that, he started coming more often to my university to visit. On the eve of my sister’s graduation, I decided to give him a visit at his university. “Yes, I’d like to be with you.” March 29, 2011 was when he kissed me for the very first time.

What about my parents? They didn’t take it well, obviously. It was a tough couple of months for me because I didn’t know if I had to hide my relationship to them or not, yet I am very fond of him. My father refused to meet him, even if he was doing everything that’s required of my culture—asking for the daughter’s hand in marriage. Whenever we date, random shirtless guys in Dasmarinas would call my boyfriend “Nigga” or get looks in people’s faces (even at fancier restaurants). Even my friends from college think I was crazy.

I eventually decided to take a year off Graduate school to go as a missionary teacher in Kenya in 2011 partly because I wanted to see if Kenya is the place I’d want to be married into, and to see for myself if everything that my friends had been telling me about Africans is true. And they are wrong. Going to another continent was the best decision I’ve ever made. At first, Simeon was hesitant to send me to his hometown, a mere 6 hours trip from where I work to see his home because he was afraid that I will not love him anymore if I find out that he had grown up in a very humble home. African girls don’t marry poor boys, he said. But honestly, there was something about him that was so beautiful, worth fighting for.

Simeon’s father died when he was very young and he had to learn how to mingle with other people other than his family, and show compassion to those whose needs surpass his. For about five years, he was selling books to find money to go to the Philippines to study.

While in Kenya, we just kept writing to each other despite my parent’s opposition, skyping, sending packages and all. I returned to the Philippines in 2012 with a braided hair and a fresh perspective on life.

After a year of teaching in the Philippines, I decided to teach in Indonesia while Simeon went to Norway to work and study. The plan to marry after a few years seem plausible, and both of us tried our best to be in touch. Date night online, gifts, love letters; but with the stress of both being in a new and different countries for the first time, struggling and juggling our lives separately, we fell apart in May, 2014. It was very painful. Long distance relationship, even in the age of the internet is difficult. Plus, Simeon said that he cannot go on if my parents wouldn’t bless us. I was so angry. I became rebellious and started going to Bali and many other places with my Indonesian friends to take my mind off him. After a couple of months that we’ve broken up, I started dating another guy, incidentally a friend of Simeon. I thought I liked him but every time I went out with this guy, Simeon keeps popping out of my mind. Finally, Simeon learned about this and was furious with his country mate. He demanded an explanation from his friend and swore to get the next flight out from Norway to Indonesia. In the end, I decided that Simeon is the one that I love and I ended everything with the other guy. Simeon planned on a trip to Indonesia and the Philippines to meet my family and myself.

A day after his visit to both places, I received an admission to a Norwegian university. It was almost like fate would have it for us. And even though I really loved teaching at that school, I knew that I would be happier if we were together. So on July, 2015, I flew to Norway to begin another Master’s degree and to marry him. Before I left, I talked to my parents and I received their blessing.

We were married in Tromso, Norway in November 29, 2015 with the help of Simeon’s friends. It was like a United Nations wedding, literally. I was a stranger there in July but I felt home after just a few months; all because Simeon had made beautiful connections with all kinds of people. Winter weddings in Norway isn’t exactly budget friendly, but it was unbelievable how everyone tried their best to help us in the décor, the food, the photography, and more because Simeon was everyone’s friend. It was nostalgic.

I received a call from my mom just minutes before I arrived at church, telling me that she was praying for us. At that point I felt a deep sense of peace knowing that my family’s blessings was with us even though my dad wasn’t articulating it. Nowadays, we live in the United States in order to pursue our dreams of PhDs among other things.

Movie nights, evening strolls, trips together—those are really good memories. But silly fights, penniless nights? How about the shameful, yet adventurous dumpster diving in Norway or visits to food shelves? It isn’t exactly romantic, but I’d rather be miserable with him than be elsewhere. I know that dreamers will make it. I have faith. Whether it’s an up, down, or however life goes around, I will travel the world over again if I’d have to just to be with him.

Filipina Honey Trap - Your Worst Nightmare or The Love of Your Life? (Sample two from online)

There has been a lot of hype regarding the beautiful and alluring Filipina. We Caucasians can’t seem to get enough of that exotic flavour. As good as things may seem, there are always two sides to the coin.

This series of articles will expand on an incident that has recently come to our attention which highlights the dangers of what Filipina “honey traps” can do to your life if you are unprepared. It also goes to show no matter how good your intentions are, if you meet the wrong individual, it can literally destroy your life.

This article focuses on a person who fell for the wiles and charms of a Filipina Guest Relation Officer (GRO). For those who don’t know, the abbreviation “GRO” is actually a more diplomatic term for the word “prostitute” in the night club scene. Of course after reading, we would very much like readers to post their comments to tell us what they think about this particular case.

Fairly successful as a business consultant at the age of 36, Albert met Gidget when she was already moonlighting as a GRO in Malaysia two (2) years prior. That was towards the end of 2006. Unknown to Albert, at the time, Gidget was the mistress of a local thug named R.

What a lot of married men in Malaysia do when they keep a Filipina GRO as a mistress is to rent an apartment for the girl. So when the guy has some free time or is able to escape the watchful eye of the wife, he will pop in for a quickie with the mistress. Other than that, the mistress is free to do what she likes when the guy is not around. Of course most of these gals are extremely loyal and grateful to the guy who supports them. After all being a prostitute is not a profession which most people can classify as being proud of. Thus, when you have a sponsor, you don’t have to go out and service different guys every night.

Now Albert, a single guy, normally frequents a bar where Gidget works as a GRO after work for a couple of beers.

Now, let us talk about the character of Albert a bit. Albert is an upper middle class professional who comes from one of the “established and influential families” in his city. Divorced for 10 years and a workaholic, he is not one who enjoys socializing. As such, he normally keeps to himself when he is savouring his beer. He told us that it is very irritating sometimes to get all these GROs coming up to him pestering him to buy them a “ladies drink”. The question that pops up is what is he doing in a place like this? Well due to the nature of his work, he occasionally has to entertain some of his clients coming from KL. That bar is one of the few places in the city that had half naked filipina GROs running around serving drinks. Most of his clients want to have a night of fun when they meet Albert and I guess after awhile familiarity breeds comfort.

Ok back to the character of Albert. We brought this up because his persona is very typical of many of the guys that come to the Philippines hoping to meet the women of their dreams.

Mostly a loner except for work related acquaintances or contacts and usually a divorcee, these types of guys aren’t what we called the “predator” type of guys and they normally think the best of others. In short, they always give the benefit of the doubt to others more than for themselves. This puts them at a big disadvantage when it comes to the dating scene. What is real and fake becomes a very thin line...if the wrong type of girl pops into the picture.

Someone once quoted that “When Honey flows From the Mouth, the Pain in the Heart Usually Follow Suit“.

Wise man saying or a victim of seduction...we will never know as the author of that quote is unknown. If you think that you are immune to the seductive sweet words of a woman, think again.

Read about the man who vowed never to get emotionally involved with a Filipina GRO and still ended being hooked by a very cunning and calculative Filipina GRO.

Learn from this real life story of how this particular Filipina GRO executed her moves to gain the trust of her victim and turned it against him. You might be surprised to find that there might be some similarities to the Filipina that you are courting with on the internet to the guy who was taken to the cleaners by the Filipina honey trap.

Before we start to dwell deeper into the second instalment of the honey trap series, we would like to quantify that the articles in the honey trap series are not meant to generalize Filipinas but rather to relate the experiences of a particular individual who has come across what many other men have gone through but left unsaid. The primary character in this story, Albert, hopes that by relating his own personal experiences, others may learn and avoid the same hardship that he has personally gone through. It is no fun to be in a penniless, friendless state and alone in a foreign country.

In our previous article, we were talking about the types of character of the guys coming here to look for their future partner in life. In the mind of every man, there exists an ideal form of woman that every man aspires to marry. Some of us are lucky and get to meet that idealized woman and this is where the personification of the ideal Filipina comes into being.

This is also where the danger lies. Albert himself like most guys also has that mental picture of what his ideal partner in life should be like. The honey trap is hardly any guy’s ideal partner in life. Nevertheless, the honey trap has, one unique ability, that puts her ahead of everyone else. Like a chameleon, she is able to camouflage her true self and project herself as any man’s ideal woman.

The irony is that although Albert frequented the club that Gidget used to work at, he didn’t meet her until they were both introduced by a mutual acquaintance. It never occurred to Albert that Gidget knew precisely who he was and to this day, he still wonders if the meeting was purposely setup to introduce Gidget to him. For some men, they are drawn towards the physical beauty of a woman while others like Albert finds intelligent women more attractive. When a person has both guile and beauty, the combination of physical beauty and cunning really makes a honey trap like Gidget truly dangerous for the uninitiated in the game of dating. To Albert, prima facie, Gidget, the Filipina GRO seemed to be a very intelligent person. What caught his attention was a remark that Gidget made when he asked her what is so different about her from the rest of the Filipina GROs that he had met before. Her answer was “it’s not who you do it with but rather how you do it.”

Having drawn the attention of Albert, It was through the facade of innocence that Gidget managed to entrap Albert into trusting her. This facade was bolstered with tear jerking stories of hardships,...stories of having to fend for 3 kids, no work at home and a materialistic family. Cloaked in half truth, it is difficult to discern what is real and what is make believe. The story about her family being unwilling to help her and forcing her to become a prostitute is particularly heart wrenching. Any man with any inkling of moral conscience can’t help but feel sympathy for her. In reality, the truth couldn’t be further away from the picture that Gidget painted about her own mother, a 58 year old lady still struggling to earn enough to put her 3 grand kids through school.

The basic modus operandi of a honey trap is initially to elicit sympathy for her situation. Once she has your attention, she will crank up the juice to gain your trust. If you are immune to her sob stories, she will then move on to another guy who will listen to her and fall for her trap. In our next instalment of the honey trap series, “The Entrapment”, we will learn the particular tactics applied by this particular honey trap on her victims. So stay tuned. You get to learn a few things on how to avoid being in such a similar situation.

The dictionary defines “entrapment” as the act of luring one into danger, difficulty or a compromising situation. No doubt that if one was to fall into the snare of the honey trap; one would sooner or later find oneself being in such a state.

This is exactly the predicament that Albert found himself in unintentionally in the end, for trusting Gidget.

As mentioned earlier in our first article of the honey trap series, most men who are thinking of settling down are not the “predator” type of character. This category of men tend to be more trusting of the opposite sex, because without trust in a relationship there is no basis for the relationship in the first place.

No enduring relationship can be built on a foundation of lies or deceit. Then again, the honey trap is not out looking for a long term relationship but rather one that can serve her , in this case a Filipino women, immediate financial or physical needs.

Having said that, it is difficult not to fall for the sob stories of a honey trap especially when her story is coupled with tears....she knows this and she has no qualms in taking full advantage of this weakness in her unsuspecting victims.

Once captivated by the honey trap, she will then proceed to ask for favours or help.

In Albert’s case, sensing that he was a better catch than the local thug R, this Filipino women then proceeded to dig her claws into him.

It all begins with the game of seduction through text messages or phone calls. All the time while she was showering her attention on Albert, she was still milking R for money.

When R found out what she was doing, it was a natural reaction on his part to be furious with Gidget. I think we can safely say that nobody, be it a man or woman would like to be taken for a ride and being made a fool of.

Because R was a gangster, he sent five carloads of his men to hunt Gidget down. Naturally as this Filipino women was an alien in a foreign country, she had no one to turn to for help, except Albert.

According to Albert, “This was one of the first red flags that I shouldn’t have ignored. Had I known that she was capable of being a two timing snake, I wouldn’t have bothered about her in the first place. But then the look of fear and anxiety on her face after knowing that R was hunting her really made me pity her. One of the principles in life that I always abide by is never to fool around with another man’s wife or girlfriend. And this principle has always kept me out of trouble with regards to relationships with the opposite sex. It is only with Gidget that I broken this principle unknowingly. That day, I had to drive around the city until 3am in the morning to look for a place to keep my Filipino women safe.”

In the end, only with the intervention of the police and the rule of law did R finally back off from Gidget.

“I wasn’t keen and proud of being Gidget’s knight in shining armour as I knew very well that the person at fault in this case was Gidget herself for creating the situation with her deceits. It was only because she is considered a guest in my country, even though she was working illegally and the fact that she is a woman that I helped her out of pity. Furthermore, I couldn’t bear the thought of 20 men trying to teach her a lesson. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to wash my hands of her. What kind of lesson the gangsters were going to teach her I will leave to your imagination....” said Albert.

This was the beginning of a series of incidents that this Filipino women brought into the life of Albert, that eventually lead to his downfall in his social network and career.

In the next instalment of the Entrapment article (The Guilt) we will cover more of the other related incidents that had an impact on the lives of these two individuals.

We brought the aspects of these incidents up to illustrate two points:

• The unsuspecting victims of the honey trap usually have no idea what he is getting himself into until it is too late.

• The honey trap herself will go to almost any lengths to get what she wants regardless of whether it is principally or morally right.
  
  In short, she is not sportsman like. She will not play fair with you. Cheating and lying is the norm for her as there are no other ways she can convince others to believe in her.

Sometimes, having sympathy is not worth it when you are dealing with someone without any morals or principals. There is a saying which sums up this situation very appropriately.

“You can always take the girl out of the bar but you can never take the bar out of the girl”.

“Do for me and I will do for you ten times more”.

This is what most of us guys endeavour to do in life for the woman that we love or hold dear to our hearts. It is not being high and mighty. It’s about doing the right things in life.

We as human beings are never perfect. That is why we choose to value and to hold on to what is most dear in our hearts to remind us of the fragility of or soul.

Some of us turn to God and some of us turn to other human beings. In totality, we all need something or someone in our lives. Perhaps this is why the greatest fear for a person is not dying, but the fear of dying alone and having the feeling of being unwanted.

Taken out of context, it can seem that we are trying to be more than who we are. But let me remind you all: Isn’t this what we were all taught when we were young? Honour, friendship and family are all paramount. Isn’t this what life all about?

You may ask what this has got to do with the honey trap? Well...the values and principles between a honey trap and the average Joe are way apart. It’s like trying to mix oil and water and at the end of the day....what you have is an emulsion, a mixture but never truly mixing.

This is what happened with Albert and Gidget. Between a western culture and an Asian culture, there is even a further wide chasm to cross.

If both parties cannot bridge that chasm than there is no hope in the relationship ever being able to work.

The beginning of the first year of our relationship was okay.

I was naive and frankly would never have thought that the person whom I had helped in desperate situations and intended to take as my Filipino bride would ever betray me. But as the money ran out, the atmosphere began to change until it became really tense.

I had no income and by the beginning of the second year, I relied totally on this filipina.

She had secured a managerial position in an Multinational Company that paid her a monthly salary of 24k php through my recommendation on her resume. I knew my recommendation played a big role in her securing the job because she was just a 2nd year undergraduate. Furthermore, the company that hired her have a subsidiary in Malaysia with whom I had some business dealings with before.

This is when she started to show all her true colours. I had no say in anything.

I was relegated to the role of being a housemaid. I cooked and cleaned for her and the kids and I did it well. I have five (5) daughters of my own whom I took care of when my ex wife was studying. My cooking skills I had picked up when I was working part time as an assistant chef in a restaurant while pursuing my degree in the UK.

There were occasions when I wanted to speak up but I was told that if I wasn’t careful with what I say, I might get shot. Of course, I had no intention of testing the truth of that statement.

A couple of times my Filipino bride to be, literally threw me out of the house with just the clothes on my back. No money, no friends and a stranger in a foreign land, what was I suppose to do but just tough it out for the night. The next day, she would look for me and tell me to go back. When I asked her why she did what she did, she told me, “To teach you a lesson!”.

In my heart, I asked myself, why would she do this to me, for just speaking my mind? What had I got myself into?? Many times, I asked that of myself.

Later, she was terminated from her job because there were a lot of discrepancies with the stock in the shop. I don’t want to speculate on what happened as I wasn’t there. From what I do know she was told to leave the company’s premises immediately. That itself left a very bad impression of the whole situation.

After losing her job, this caused a change in our lifestyle. We had to move from our present apartment to another subdivision that was part of the Tondo’s squatters resettlement scheme.

Most the people living there were the hardcore poor. Although, these people were really poor, I have tremendous respect for them because they were some of the most hospitable people that I had ever met here in this country. Why do I say this?

Although they live from hand to mouth everyday, they have such big hearts and will even share what little they have with their neighbours. For our survival, we had a small sari- sari store which really didn’t provide much and my possible future filipino bride had to learn about rugs and knitting to make more money for our daily expenses.

I tried to do my part by doing odd jobs, repairing computers which weren’t very often and I used my cooking ability to lower our daily expenses to the lowest possible.

Don't miss the entire series!

You can find direct links to them all below. Even though there are 6 parts there are actually more articles.

Enjoy reading them and I hope you learn something to!

Yes, people in this country do survive on a dollar a day and I have gone through that myself.

To give you an idea of what kind of change we went through, there were occasions when our meals consisted purely of rice and soy sauce.

And no, poverty did not make any of the other hardcore poor any less decent people. Despite the fact that I used to earn $1,500 per day in Malaysia as an IT consultant I think I coped with the lack of money better than Gidget. The reason I say this is because when we reached the lowest point of our lives, she really kicked me below the belt by saying this to me, “You are a foreigner and you cannot work here in the Philippines and you need me to feed you”. now, I can accept the statement as being a fact but what I found difficult to accept was the fact that I thought we were a couple and we were suppose to go through thick and thin together.

If I could accept the fact that I gave up a better standard of living just to be with this Filipina, wouldn’t that be a strength and value that she should treasure?

Isn’t a relationship about making sacrifices and meeting challenges together hand in hand?

I think she wanted to get rid of me because I represented one less mouth to feed.

That was when I made a resolve to prove this person otherwise. I pleaded with this Filipina to give me some time. We still had a laptop and internet connection, but I was only allowed by Gidget to use it when her kids were not using it.

To avoid any clashes, I used to wait until the kids went to school during the daytime and at night until they fell asleep before I used the laptop.

What I tried to do was to look for ways to make money from the internet. So I sat in one corner of the house alone and surfed until dawn. I think Gidget really doubted if I could stand by myself and make any sort of income from the internet. Maybe she forgot or took lightly the fact that I was educated in the UK and majored in both Law and Management, also my IT skills came from working in this line for a decade.

It took me a week to find a way and took me several more weeks to master that opportunity. I did make some money but at the same time, I was also conned of a couple of thousand dollars worth of freelancing work that I did on the internet.

Just when I felt like I started to get an even break, I crashed again. It can be quite demoralizing. But later on reflection I just took it as another lesson in life and grew wiser.

As the money trickled in, Gidget actually did become more accommodating. I think it was during this time that I would regard as the happiest time that I had with her.

There was give and take in the relationship. And while I was doing my work, I could see her from the corner of my eye knitting away. My heart felt good, because it seemed that we were now a proper family, working together and it wasn’t just a one way street. What I mean was, I saw that she was trying to change. Even though, we didn’t have much, I was really glad and happy too.

I said to myself that maybe my patience and sacrifice had finally paid off.

Unfortunately, the happy state of affairs didn’t last more than two (2) months.

When our financial situation started to improve, I wanted to return the kindness that some of our neighbours had shown us when we were really broke. In one instance, I offered to finance one of the neighbours with working capital for their knitting business. It wasn’t much and I saw that these hard working people just needed a little break to improve their lot in life.

Gidget got really mad when she found out. I knew it had to do with her ego and pride as well as pure unwarranted jealously. She really created a scene outside the house and in the street by shouting loudly in Tagalog at me, saying that I treated her like a maid. I knew why she did this. She actually wanted the neighbours to hear what she had to say and degrade me in their eyes.

I don’t speak Tagalog and could only understand a little of what she was screaming about. It really affected my state of mind and I didn’t want to make a scene with her over what to me was a non issue. So I packed what clothes I had into my backpack, walked out of the house and just left her screaming her lungs out by the roadside

I remember that day very clearly. I never even once looked back at her or spoke a single word as I crossed the basketball court.

I just walked off.

After that I went to look for my “Mare”, my God sister.

Mare was also one of the few kind Filipinos that I met in this country. She gave me shelter, a place to work peacefully for a month. She even loaned me a computer because I didn’t take what was not mine when I left our house.

Through 4 weeks and 18 hour days, I stayed glued to the computer just doing my work. It turned out well in the end, as I managed to make nearly $3,000 that month.

Having secured a stable income, I proceeded to return to Gidget and show her what I managed to do despite what she thought of me. I guess it was my stupid pride that propelled me to want to show her what I could achieve.

By then, she had gone back to her parents.

She had concocted some story to gain her parents sympathy so she could go back to them. One of those stories was that I left her penniless, while in fact through a third party, I said she could withdraw some money from her Paypal account if she just linked it to her bank account. Through miscommunication or pure ignorance on her part, she never did that.

I never cleared this matter up with her family as I don’t mix with them anymore. I also saw no reason why I should involve them in my affairs with Gidget. It was just a matter between two consenting adults.

Her parents being the wiser, were extremely wary of her and placed her on curfew and a strict allowance. She couldn’t stand it and pleaded to me to help as she didn’t want to live the strict disciplinarian life her parents put her through. I had some money and a steady income now so I said why not.

Maybe this time she will really change for the better so why not give her another chance?

Gosh! It was another big mistake, it seems, looking back that I’m making a habit of them……

She had no inkling of money management and the worse thing was the arrogance she showed others because she had money.

Pretty soon, everybody hated us. I didn’t know why at first, because I never mixed too much with the others. I just kept to myself and did my work, I had no idea she was creating trouble every week with her words and actions.

Every week, there was a “teledrama” in the neighbourhood. At one time her cousin threatened to stab her because she was shouting at her auntie.

I now saw a bully emerge from Gidget.

It was no wonder why some of our neighbours despised us. I really cannot fathom what is in the mind of this Filipina. No matter what she did, she expected either her family or me to blindly defend and protect her no matter what she did.

For me, I was brought up with the principle that you should be accountable for you own actions. Others should not have to bear the consequences of what you do or don’t do.

I remember my mother’s advice “If you know how to shit, you should know how to wipe your own ass!”. Crude and frank but the wisdom is there.

Finally, I told her to behave or else.

Her reply was “You should be grateful. I made your life here better!”

You can just imagine how conceited this person can be. So I decided to teach her a lesson. I said to her, “Ok, if you are so great, then you go look for a job, get some money and take care of us”.

It was a real joke! Instead, she went around looking for people whom I had done favours for and started telling them that I am collecting my favours back. This was how she sold my goodwill back in Malaysia, as well as those I cultivated here.

I just got fed up and just stopped working.

I only did enough work just to keep us in survival mode, nothing more, nothing less. She couldn’t take it. Then, when I fell sick with pneumonia, she told me she was leaving me. I said to her, “Fine go if it makes you happy”.

It was around this time that I met Jean online.

I never went out or messed around. The internet was my sole connection to the outside world, a world which I was familiar with. It kept me sane.

I don’t know how many times I dreamt of taking my own life. My depression almost overwhelmed me. When I first met Jean, she was aloof. She is an upper middle class professional, single, pretty and poised. Actually she is what I could classify as the personification of the ideal Filipina beauty.

I might sound bias here about Jean, but when you read more about her and what she did for me, I am sure that you will also agree with me.

Anyway I didn’t expect her to show any interest in me at all. After receiving all the bashings from Gidget, mentally and physically, my self esteem was already the pits. And getting into a relationship again was the last thing on my mind.

Jean as I found out later had plenty of suitors who were trying to hook her; the only thing was she wasn’t interested. I found out why later but that is another story which I will keep to myself.

One of the great things about Jean was that she is a good listener.

So once a week when she came online, I poured my heart out to her about all my ordeals and she never once judged me or commented to me about anything.

All she did was listen. In her, I found a good friend to talk to. We didn’t talk about love or feelings between us. Frankly after the hellish nightmares that Gidget put me through, I was a little scared of Filipinas.

Now and again Gidget still paid me visits and she exhibited all the signs of concern for my welfare, before she left to go to Dubai for work. Later, I found out that her real motive was to spy on my emails and my chat logs. That was when she found out that I had a friend in Jean.

What she did was copy Jean’s email address and then sent a really nasty letter about me.

Jean asked me how she got her email address and she also asked me if what Gidget said about me was true. I told Jean how Gidget might have found her email address on my PC when it was unattended. I had gotten tired of trying to defend my integrity whenever Gidget backstabbed me to those around me, so I told Jean it’s up to her whether she believes what Gidget emailed her or not.

I don’t speak Tagalog and I’m a foreigner. So when you keep hearing things like “We are Kababayan and we should stick together regardless of what.”, you have a sense of helplessness regardless of what your moral stand is.

The gist of the email?

Well as usual, what Gidget talks about was “We are both Babae (women folk) and we should stick together. After all we are Kakabayan (Countrymen)”.Who did Gidget think Jean was? An uneducated moron? Jean never even bothered to reply to her as she didn’t know Gidget and I think she also saw the true motive behind Gidget’s email.

What Gidget did do was to pretend to show concern about Jean’s welfare and tried to forewarn Jean that I had no work and no money. She was hoping that Jean will stop being my friend.

Perhaps Gidget thought Jean was “Plastic”. The term “plastic” is used to signify a person as being a hypocrite in the Philippines. The end motive was when I am totally alone; I would crawl back and beg Gidget to come back into my life.

As I look back, I realised that her mentality was probably the result of being a GRO and being in an environment where money rules everything. Maybe, having all those rich men who wanted to sleep with her, had probably corrupted her way of thinking...I don’t know. Only Gidget herself knows what she is really thinking inside her mind.

I gave up trying to find a justifiable reason why she did and said the many things she did. You just can’t tie them to any universal moral or principle in life.

Many times we heard stories why people had to resort to selling their bodies, but in Gidget’s case, she really didn’t have too, I knew she had choices. The only reason that I can come up with, after going through hell with her, was just a monetary one.

But if you truly love someone, should money be the main factor that decides happiness in life?

The problem for Gidget was I never had any motive towards Jean. She was just a friend who gave me comfort online when I was alone on my birthday and Xmas. During this time, I felt a deep sense of bitterness about life with Gidget. I had given up everything in my own country to come to the Philippines based on the words of a woman that I loved.

The woman who promised to be with me through thick and thin, then dumped me when I was really sick with pneumonia to be with family, relatives and friends, to be merry. And I had always been there for her when she was down. On the flip side, I took this as one of the signs that life with this woman is going to be a lottery.

You sort of sense that your life with this person will have a turbulent ending instead of a peaceful one towards the final moments of your natural life here on earth. And we will all reach that point regardless.

The email created a whole new dimension on things. It solidified more in my mind that this particular person is malicious.

If the whole situation was different, I don’t know what I would make of it. It was because of that particular incident that Jean and I became closer as friends. We still didn’t end up as a couple as I was still afraid. You cannot imagine the emotional scars that Gidget inflicted on me to make me the way I am today.

I am still healing and the best part, Jean is helping me. That story, I will leave for the next part of the story in the series.

Filipino Wives – My Experience of Philippines Wife Sample one (From online)

Filipino Wives mail order brides are increasingly popular in the last few years. There are thousands of Philippines wives who got married with Filipino men in the United States of America (USA) every year. My name is Bryant. I am a Filipino American man who lives in California USA. I am telling you a true story about myself and how I got married with a Filipina wife in Philippine 8 years ago. This is based on my own experience. By that time, no one recommended me to get married with her and sponsor her over to USA. However, I did and I think I made a right decision.

Philippines wife is great, supportive, and life long. I got acquainted with a Filipino girl from an online dating service. We chatted and talked on the phone for about one year. I decided to go back to Philippines to see her and marry her if she was my type. My family, relatives and friends didn’t support me for doing this. I still remember what some of my friends said, “come on, Bryant, don’t do this. She will leave you for someone else once she became a US citizen.” I was so sad when I heard such rumors. Anyway, I went there to see her.

She met me at the Ninoy Aquino (Manila) International Airport. I felt in love with her at that moment. In front of me was a beautiful Filipino girl who was 24 years old. She was about 5’5 tall and 95 lbs. She was appealing and lovely. I greeted her and chatted with her a little bit. Then, she took me to her home to meet her parents and siblings. She drove me on her motorcycle every morning and afternoon to look at the romantic Manila city. Let me talk a little bit about her. She was attending a University in Manila for a Economic degree. She also tutored some kids to get money to cover her tuition. Her personal character is great. She is an excellent cooker and a perfect homemaker.

Philippines wives get married for life. To tell you the truth, the divorce is against the Philippines’s law. As you know that Filipinos are influenced by the strong Christian religion of the old Spanish time. Some relationships got broke up when the couples are not happy. However, the Philippine wife stays single to the rest of her life. Usually, they are separated. It is just too hard to get divorced in this country. Marriage is considered the life time commitment so they don’t think about getting a divorce after marriage. Most of Filipina wives usually stay at home to take care of their husbands and children after marriage. They are very supportive and patient. Most of them are great homemakers. Especially, they usually stay in shape even many of them have two or three kids.

Back to my story. I stayed there for three weeks. I came back to the US and continue working on my bachelor degree in CIS (computer information system). I graduated one year after that. I went back to Philippines and got married with her. Of course, my family, relatives and friends still gave me different looks. Anyway, I made my own decision but still nervous to do so because of many negative looks from my family and friends. She came to USA after 9 months.

After my Filipino wife came to this country. I taught her new things in the USA like how to drive a car and where to find a job. She was attending a community college while working on a part time job to help me. I don’t need her to do that but she just wants to help. She then transferred to a local University and finished her Bachelor degree in CIS two years ago. She now works in an IT (Information Technology) company. We had two kids now. Now, I must say that I made a right decision. I got a beautiful wife and a happy family.